I remember sitting in my first freshmen class at The University of Texas like it was yesterday. I plopped down in a seat in the large auditorium, turned to the girl to my right who looked somewhat friendly, and introduced myself. We got to talking and the girl to my left ended up joining in on our conversation. We exchanged the normal facts (major, hometown, dorm) and then this happened:

Girl to my right: “When I won Homecoming Queen at my high school…”

Girl to my left: “Wait! I was Homecoming Queen at my high school too!”

Me: “I was Prom Queen!”

(awkward silence)

And suddenly I realized things were going to be very different in college. I was no longer the big fish in the small pond of my high school. All my accomplishments I had worked so hard for in high school were instantly gone. Here I was sitting in between two other versions of myself, and none of us cared what the others’ high school identities were. We were all starting from scratch. I was terrified.

Those first few months of college I longed for someone to know me. Really know me. I wanted my best friend to laugh at my jokes. I wanted my ex-boyfriend (we broke up to go to college) to tell me I was beautiful and special. I wanted my family to hug me and tell me that in no time everyone would realize that I was extraordinary. Basically I wanted all the people that had collectively helped define who I was in high school to come together and in one rousing cheer tell my entire college campus, “We love Ashley and you will too!” But, instead, I was attempting to tell funny stories, wear the acceptable college attire, and join the most sought after organizations. This was all in an effort to show people glimpses that I was in fact a very fun, talented, smart, unique and lovable person.

Eventually things got better. And if I could give you one piece of advice it would be this: In your moments of loneliness, doubts, and insecurity, ask God to remind you how he sees you. His voice is the one that will rise above all the others and calm your heart.

Still looking for a little more direction? Here are 10 things I think every Christian college freshman should know:

1. Work hard at school, and find the right balance of study time. Know your personality – will you struggle with studying too much or too little? If you tend towards being a perfectionist, don’t let school consume all your thoughts and free time. If you’re a procrastinator who’s more likely to let your grades slip, remember that school needs to be a priority in order for you to stay there!

2. Stop comparing. This is a big one! With social media updating you by the minute what all your old high school friends are doing, comparison creeps in quick. Here’s a common scenario: You’re lonely one night and trying to decide what to do. You check your Instagram and see that one of your best friends from high school has just posted an epic picture of her having the time of her life at another college. The worst part is that she’s attending the college you debated going to instead of the college you’re currently attending. You have a moment of panic and consider transferring. Don’t believe the hype. We all know that Insta-life is far more glamorous than real life. No one takes pictures of themselves awkwardly meeting new friends or crying in their dorm room. I bet your friend is having similar struggles as you, but you are only seeing the Photoshopped version of her night. Invest where you are and have confidence that the college you are at is where God has called you to be.

3. Take care of your body. This might be the first time you’ve ever had to exercise apart from organized sports or school activities. Find a gym (many campuses have great facilities) and try to go regularly. This isn’t just to avoid the “freshmen 15”. Exercise will help reduce your stress, keep you healthy, and give you more energy.

4. Everything is better in moderation. That first night in your dorm room, you will probably be thinking, “I’M FREEEE! No parents, no rules!” But, you might find yourself crying to your mom on the phone if you spend that first semester overindulging in sleep, food, and Netflix. So, before you diagnose yourself with freshmen year depression, consider that you slept 14 hours last night and then woke up and watched 10 episodes of One Tree Hill. Which means maybe you just need to adjust your schedule.

5. Make your community a priority. You will probably be balancing many different commitments in college: school, activities, dating, sports, keeping up with old friends, and checking in with your family. But, investing in new friendships should be at the top of your list. You may never remember what you learned in your freshmen year Biology class, but the friend who becomes your maid-of-honor in your wedding will forever impact you. Make time for people, and this includes roommates. No guarantees on that potluck roommate, but often your roommates throughout college end up being some of your best friends. One classic freshman mistake is to rush into a roommate decision for the following year. Pick who you live with carefully!

6. Understand friendships take time to build. I hate to break it to you, but even if you get into your top pick sorority you are not going to have 20 new best friends overnight. Friendships take time! Don’t be afraid to initiate a hang out with people. Remember that although it may seem like everyone already has friends the first week of class, freshmen year everyone is looking and waiting for friends.

7. Find time to spend in scripture and to pray. One great thing about college is you get to create your schedule. Find a time in the day that works best for you to spend time reading scripture and praying. Maybe nighttime devotionals are more realistic for you because you’re not a morning person. Also, walking to class is a great time to listen to podcasts, listen to worship music, or pray.

8. Go to church every Sunday. Take ownership of your faith apart from your family and join a church near your campus. Find a few friends and start church hunting each weekend. Then pick one, join a small group and find a way to serve!

9. Don’t go home too much. You may be living 15 or 1,500 miles from home, but either way, discipline yourself to not run home every weekend (or to that neighboring college town to see your boyfriend). The comforts of home might be tempting, but every weekend you leave town you are missing important opportunities to plant roots in your college community. I am not saying you should never go home! But, the first few months are crucial. In your first semester try to commit to stay in town as much as possible and get out of your comfort zone. Chances are good that both your friendships and confidence will grow and you will start to feel more at home in college.

10. Trust God’s plan for your life. Have you ever heard of the Sunday School song “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”? Sometimes the most profound truths are the simplest, and this is definitely one of them. He’s got you. And he has promised to never let you go. (John 10:28-29) So, when you start to get anxious because every adult in a 100 mile radius keeps asking you about your major (undeclared) and your dating prospects (which range from zero to complicated), put your trust in God who already has all the days of your life written in his book (Psalm 139:16).

That’s it! That’s everything you need to know in college! You don’t even need a degree! Just kidding, don’t tell your parents I said that.

Do you have any advice for a freshmen in college? Something you learned the hard way?